بعد از مدت ها : نیلوبلاگ

Almost five years past...

We started a bond to put a brick on the other having no clue what's gonna happen...

like you being sent to the war with no armor... the only weapon you got is a belief nothing else...

fear and courage, wearing out and strengthened, fed up and motivated, cries and laughs, slept and awoken, feeling lost and re-bo, fights and peace, attacks, and retreats, feeling wrong and best chosen and hate against love. All we experienced together, and we are here now together, many wishes together, many dreams and plans, good to be with someone who build the best from nothing together.

Many words of contradiction all come and leave. you understand that life is nothing without them. All help to believe that life is base on a gradient, existence flows towards the demands to reach the balance. A balance which never exists. this is the prophesy that life lives with. This is "us". 

Without gradients, the water stinks in a pond. If I believe in the life cycle, I ought to accept the contradictions to qualify. never to make a decision when the bad ones run, they will flow to the good ones. just wait and wait, avoid the immediate actions. 

This is me have been here, after all, up and downs. Some spikes on the life timeline, some times on trough some time on crests as it is now. 

I happy of what I have but feeling sad; actually when my done do not satisfy the expectation. Hands do not move, mind not working, spending mind more than a waste, eyes hallucinated. I am not the one right now who they know. Need some cries but have no reason for it. Need someone to judge me well. Feeling in a stupid loop, the only person can help is me, but the judged "me". Is it a bubble of happiness or sadness? Am I taking a nap?

We sometimes are sentenced to wait. I cannot change the time rate, but I can be changed by it; Good or bad, I do not know. I don’t like the shock to move on as I had once, but need some sort of it.

 

MSA at office 

06 Aug 2019 16:33

 

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